Wednesday, March 5, 2008

In the Beginning...

I went out tonight for some drinks with my new buds. Mom's night out! WOOHOO!! We always have a great time talking and I never seem to have to get blind stinking drunk to enjoy myself. We were talking about the beginning days with baby and I realized how many "good" stories I have! At the time they didn't seem like good stories...more like a slice of my own personal hell. That may seem extreme but the first few months with baby are just hard. It seems when I talk to first time moms it is either..."it was OK in the beginning or it was really hard!". Not a lot of in betweeners. I also realize that anyone who says it was "SO GREAT" is someone I simply shouldn't be friends with because I will just feel bad about myself! LOL! My first night home from the hospital should have been a sign as to how well things would go. I didn't want to leave the hospital or the call button! I cried before we left. They gave me Tylenol w/ Codeine for the pain when I left the hospital and I reacted badly to the medication. My first night home with baby I am in my closet talking to the hospital hotline who transfers me to POISON CONTROL! GREAT, cause that's who I want to talk to right now!! They tell me my symptoms are real but more than anything I am having an ole fashioned panic attack.

The beginning was hard hard hard. It almost makes me never want another baby. BUT....and a big BUT....I love Claire so much and we are bonded. She is my daughter and my buddy. We spend every second short of sleeping together. I have never been apart from her more than 3 hours since she was born. I don't say this in any superior way...we simply don't have any other options out here in our new hometown. We aren't brave enough to find a babysitter either. I can say I am proud of us for leaning on each other and raising our daughter. We are really doing it. Just us! We have evolved so much since her birth. It has worn us down and built us back up. We were two people who weren't even sure we wanted kids. I guess the saying is true..."A child fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty". Our little angel.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hey there,

Too cute! I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. I also love your cats names--fan of Dawson Creek? ;)