Claire earns her wings!

We did it! We took a trip via plane and survived! We took Claire to Texas to celebrate her Grandma's 60th birthday. It was tense flying standby on the trip out of town but getting home I rested my nerves. Thank goodness the flight is only 2 hours! It's over before you know it. This is the first time I have ever been on a plane without getting my magazines and ginger ale! It was all about making bottles and keeping her smiling or getting her to sleep.

Claire really enjoyed all the attention from my family. It was great to see my brother, Tana, and mom just eating her up. They haven't seen her since the very early days so it was a much needed visit for us all. I loved just hanging with my family and lounging around the house with our kiddos. Cousin Abby was excited to see Claire and didn't want to flush her down the toilet like last time. I was able to give Abby much more attention than I was when Claire was 3 weeks old. I had really missed "our time"! She is a pistol and a doll rolled up in one. I think that equals T-R-O-U-B-L-E! :)

Eric and Claire are both fighting colds. Claire just has a runny nose and had a cough from the drainage. She hasn't had a fever or seemed sickly. It could be teething stuff?? We have been really lucky that she has been so healthy with the tough cold season this year. Eric is a little more down but trying to stay well and go to work. He is tough like that. Half the time he won't even tell me he's sick. Most men turn into babies when they get ill but not my guy. I almost wish he would get a little needy so I could help him.

We are really looking forward to a relaxing month before our trip to Mexico in May. March was busy busy with visitors, the baptism, and our trip. April is looking pretty good on the calendar....EMPTY!! Not that it hasn't been fun but we need a break.

Easter

We had a nice Easter with the fam. Claire has been such a smiley baby lately. Anyone who sees Claire all the time will tell you she is always smiling but the past few days she has really turned up the cheese! She is a hoot as her daddy would say.

We are taking our first plane ride on Thursday to see my family for my mom's 60th bday. I am not that nervous about flying with her (right now). Of course, I don't want her to be the baby that wails the whole time but I am trying to think positive! I just hope she sleeps but that may be asking alot.
I am really starting to wonder how I am going to make it through the summer. Ever since I had the baby I have become a hot box! It is only 88 degrees outside and I am already burning up more than normal. It makes me crazy and irritated. Seriously though, so much changes after you have a baby. Your body can "look" like normal but so many things are not anymore. I have incontinence, hemorrhoids, and a body temp of like 900 degrees! SO FUN! I wonder what will happen if we have another baby? We may have to move to Alaska.

On the Daddy front, I must share his outfit selection today. He worked from home due to my car trouble and for his lunch break he took Claire out for a walk using the Bjorn. So cute. I come home from the store and find them at the playground. In order to protect her skin from the sun he put some pants on over her onsie/dress AND put a long sleeve shirt over her onsie. Plus her baseball cap! The shirt was on backwards with the 3 buttons open like it was a polo shirt! It was so cute and funny. She was probably so hot or atleast I was hot looking at her but boy was she loving life with Dad! They were up on the playground set looking down at everything including me...of course, I am wondering how they got up there but nevermind because she looks happy! There is nothing like seeing your little girl with her Daddy. It will melt you everytime.

In Da Hood

I love these webisodes called In the Motherhood! It really is the 'hood! Our own bond of baby stories and daily "stuff". Some days all you can do is laugh...or cry! These stories make me laugh out loud which is much needed especially since the PMS eagle has landed!
Today we were all going to Spring Training to watch the Cubs play. Claire has been particularly fussy today and a little yesterday. She is pretty much refusing her bottle. I switched to a new formula but she hasn't had a problem until last night (after a week). She is swatting her bottle on the floor....pushing the spoon of solids away. It is annoying and frustrating for us all. I can't figure out why she is being this way. Teething? Who knows? If you don't have a reason just blame it on teething. It is the only thing that makes us feel better because we don't want to believe our precious little angel is acting so....CRAZY!!! Bottom line...I didn't go to the game. Daddy did. Afterall, it is his family that is in town. It would have been nice to get out though. I am not sure I could have handled a fussy baby at a ball game though with no stroller or place to put her! One good eye roll from Daddy and I would have been postal for sure! He seems to give me these looks when he has a disapproving thought. I am certain he thinks Claire is made of glass. He is always telling me what a great mom I am but there are days I can see those eyes glaring at me. I am a mom afterall and I have eyes in the back of my head. I see everything!!! Men are so funny when they have a girl but by gollie if this was a boy he'd never give me that look. He would be expected to be tough and try new things! Daddy's little girl!!
I was out swimming on Friday so I can't complain about not going to the game. Nevermind that I tied one on as well and Eric had to take care of me & baby! Boy does that hurt the next day. No matter how much you drink the night before your baby still gets up at 6am and needs you all day!!!!! Funny how that is! That's when you really need a babysitter. For the morning after! "Um, could you be here at 6am and leave at 7pm! " :) "Party Kristen" learned her lesson...AGAIN!!


On the swimming front, Claire took her first dip in the (heated) pool!!! It was so fun to see her get all excited and she looked so cute in her swimsuit. She was thrilled and I can't wait to keep taking her to the pool and letting her "swim"!

Alone

It's my first day home alone in 6 months. FIRST DAY! Is it sad that I cried as I stood in the window watching her drive away with Dad? So dramatic!!

A little background on me...I love being home alone. Always have since I was young. I used to beg my parents to let me stay home alone. At 8 yrs old!! Mostly, I wanted to watch the Golden Girls and 2-2-7 in peace without my brother or parents around! I guess being alone is something that has never bothered me. I have moved to cities where I know no one. I am a day dreamer, loner, and self survivor. It has served me well in hard times!

I am enjoying myself as I sit outside on the patio (see pic!) with my glass of wine, listening to music with my headphones on!! I will probably still be in the same spot when they return simply because I can. When she returns I will be so glad though that she is in my arms again. I trust Eric (of course!) but he doesn't know her like I do. Us mom's can relate to this. You are just...well...MOM! You know the difference between a whine for the paci or a tired cry. Super mom with your cape on as Sandi says! Say it with me..."SUPER MAMA!!" But if anyone loves her as much as I do it's Daddy so I know she's OK. However, I know it won't be that hard for him. He is patient in ways I am not. Maybe he has more to spare or maybe he isn't being tested by a 5 month old everyday? I don't want his day to be hard without me but I can't help but think the twisted plot in my head where he sees how hard it really can be. Then he rushes home to me and thanks me a 1000 times for everything I do and tells me his job is nothing like my 24/7 job. You know...our "mom fantasy".

So, today I am alone. It's hard for me but I am appreciating my time. As I sit here alone I have a moment to reflect on all the parts of me that are still there but don't come out these days. The glorified version of me that loves to shoot guns, likes to listen to opera, and dances to old rap music (with the tequila shot of course)! Being a mom puts you on the back burner in a way that you don't regret. It is a new reality where being alone isn't a typical day. A reality that has changed me to the core.

In the Beginning...

I went out tonight for some drinks with my new buds. Mom's night out! WOOHOO!! We always have a great time talking and I never seem to have to get blind stinking drunk to enjoy myself. We were talking about the beginning days with baby and I realized how many "good" stories I have! At the time they didn't seem like good stories...more like a slice of my own personal hell. That may seem extreme but the first few months with baby are just hard. It seems when I talk to first time moms it is either..."it was OK in the beginning or it was really hard!". Not a lot of in betweeners. I also realize that anyone who says it was "SO GREAT" is someone I simply shouldn't be friends with because I will just feel bad about myself! LOL! My first night home from the hospital should have been a sign as to how well things would go. I didn't want to leave the hospital or the call button! I cried before we left. They gave me Tylenol w/ Codeine for the pain when I left the hospital and I reacted badly to the medication. My first night home with baby I am in my closet talking to the hospital hotline who transfers me to POISON CONTROL! GREAT, cause that's who I want to talk to right now!! They tell me my symptoms are real but more than anything I am having an ole fashioned panic attack.

The beginning was hard hard hard. It almost makes me never want another baby. BUT....and a big BUT....I love Claire so much and we are bonded. She is my daughter and my buddy. We spend every second short of sleeping together. I have never been apart from her more than 3 hours since she was born. I don't say this in any superior way...we simply don't have any other options out here in our new hometown. We aren't brave enough to find a babysitter either. I can say I am proud of us for leaning on each other and raising our daughter. We are really doing it. Just us! We have evolved so much since her birth. It has worn us down and built us back up. We were two people who weren't even sure we wanted kids. I guess the saying is true..."A child fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty". Our little angel.

Claire's Baptism

What an amazing day March 2 was for us! The Bowie church is very special to my family and having my husband and daughter be in this place was extremely moving. Not only have 4 generations been baptized here but my parents married here on this same day! This day was right up there with my wedding and the birth of Claire. The town is run down and boarded up as you drive down Maint Street but in my mind I can see everything as it once was when it had life. I joke that it reminds me of the animated movie Cars.

We had a surprise visit from my dad's best friend Memo and his wife Terry. They all grew up together and it is so great that they are a part of my life now. I love to hear stories about the past. It's the kind of friendship that I hope for my own child. The same friendships that I have with Kaylan and Sandi. My life-long, childhood pals who hold all my stories. I pray that Claire has these friends! They are the family that you chose for yourself.

Not much is new on the baby front. Claire is sticking out her tongue and discovering new raspberry blowing talents. She is eating good and sleeping great! We love our new baby group friends and continue to hang out with the girls a few times a week. We have a few family visits this month with Eric's sibs visiting. I was able to talk on the phone tonight with his eldest sibling, Ken, for the first time. We have never met and I hope to get the opportunity soon. He sounds like an amazing person! Claire has a new uncle to meet too!! All is good for the Cox family!

Oh yes....Claire has jelly shoes! OH MY GOODNESS!!