Friday, April 30, 2010

Life lines

When I was 18 yrs old I went with a friend to a shady place off of Westheimer (my Houstonian friends will understand) that did palm readings. I remember the lady reading my life line on my palm and saying how crazy it was. It completely stops then a whole other line begins. She said it must mean something will happen in my life that will change the course of everything thereafter. Of course, at the time I just laughed it off. She was right though.

Today marks 10 years of that new life line. This day has colored every move I have made since and every memory before. My dad had a tragic and fatal accident and things were never quite the same. It took us off guard and it took years to finally catch our breath and take forward steps. I know part of the reason my life changed so much was because of my age. I was at that crossroads in life (age 22. almost 23.) where you have to sink or swim....you know, get your shit together basically! I think every young adult crosses this bridge. For me, it happened because of April 30.

There isn't a whole lot I want to write about this day or this loss. As much as I have come to a place of peace and acceptance, it still hurts to write about it or talk about it in great detail. I remember thinking way back when he first died....I wonder what 10 years later will feel like? Where will we be? How will we feel not seeing him for that long? I can honestly say that time does heal you and it is the only remedy for pain. Our family has moved at different paces throughout the grieving process but I know we all agree that 10 years later feels a whole lot different and a whole lot better. I was talking to my brother yesterday and sometimes we still can't believe how much our dad has missed. Our weddings (my dad's best friend from childhood walked me down the aisle) and the birth of our children. It's crazy how much has happened in these years. We have grown up so much and I am so proud of our lives. I am so thankful for my life and for all the wonderful memories I have of my dad.

I love you Dad. I can't believe it's been a decade!
me and dad (3 mos old. 1977). that is my brother passed out on the right.
senior year of hs 1994.

last picture together. 22yrs old. feb 2000.

1 comment:

Jenney said...

This is a beautiful post. I know all to well how that 10yr marker feels. I also know that your dad is looking down on your from the stars above and he is so proud of the woman that you have become!! I love the pics... Thank you for sharing something so personal with us all.