Defeated

I took Claire to the splash pad at the mall today. She was so cute and got right into the action. THEN....the running off started. She just walks right out of the play area and off she goes. She loves to see me chase her. I really hate when this "game" starts. I feel so defeated as a parent because I can't get my kid under control. I know she is a toddler and more than that she is my beautiful gift from God. However, I am human. As a dear friend of mine so nicely put it....just because I am blessed to have my little girl doesn't mean I am not allowed to get frustrated and need a break from her. And that I don't need to feel guilty when I feel those emotions.

I am just trying to keep my composure today. Part of me wanted to have a big ole meltdown at the mall. Instead we left quietly. We didn't speak on the ride home. I got her out of the car and took her inside. She gave me a big hug and asked for an apple. I never spoke to her. I just cut up the apple then held her while she ate. I put her down for a nap. The only words I uttered were 'I love you' as I put her in her crib. I didn't want to say anything else for fear I would regret those words.

I haven't used my blog as an outlet like this in a while. I have been posting pics and just giving a run down of the fun things we have been doing. So consider this a reality check. Pictures are great and they capture great moments but on the other side of those pictures is a strong willed toddler and a mother who is still very green at being a mom! It's always a learning curve being a parent!

claire at the splash pad @ san tan mall