Reunited

Eric and I just got back from a week long vacation to Mexico. We sat on the beach, drank lots of tequila, had massages, and just enjoyed having nothing to do! It was great. Prior to this trip though I had a lot of mixed feelings and hard times. Leaving Claire for the first time proved to be a task I wasn't sure I was up for. It sounds silly now that I have come and gone because everything went very well. Things usually do in the end and more often than not all the worries are for nothing. This was different though. Preparing to leave Claire brought up alot of unexpected emotions. I had gotten past post-partum depression and things were good but I found myself slipping backwards. I was feeling angry and even resentful. Basically, I was going to be losing control while I was away. As I was putting together the "Claire Care Manual" and adding the tabs to the binder (yes, a binder), I was feeling a bit Monica-ish from Friends. I needed to get a grip and put the label maker down. You simply cannot control everyone and put them on puppet strings to make them do things just like you would. It's hard but you have to let go. So, I narrowed things down into a couple of pages and put it in a folder. After talking to my other mom friends I found out this is pretty common. Having a baby can turn anyone into a bit of a control freak!

We had a great trip and Claire really did love hanging out with everyone. She had the best babysitters with her Aunt Carol and Grandma. She had so much fun that when we arrived at the door she looked at us like we were strangers. We were looking at her with big grins on our faces and she looked blankly at us. Nice welcome home! HA! She looked so different to me at first and so big. Grandma had her in a "big girl" outfit (not a onsie basically!) all dressed in white. So cute.

Today we are celebrating Mom's day and my 31st Bday all wrapped into one! Very cool! I feel very lucky. Eric and I got to reunite this past week and just be "us" without being parents. I was able to reunite with myself again and just be me! At the end of it all I got to come home to Claire and be reunited with my wonderful life (even if she is crying her head off at every nap!) "Having a baby is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body"...this is a quote that my sis in law, Carol, read somewhere. So true!!